The Gay Obsession With Unprotected Sex

Birds do it, bees do it, educated fleas do it and it seems every gay man is intent on doing it too, unprotected sex that is.

Having recently rejoined the fabulous (sense the sarcasms) world of singledom and as a result, attempting to have as many shags in a week as possible, I’ve been amazed by the amount who want to do it without little jonhny! Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there, had the drunken night where you get a bit too frisky and, whoops, we did it without the rubber. In fact when I was a silly teenager I had more unprotected sex than I would care to remember or share!!!

So with all the risks out there why do so many want to do it? I’ve had sex three times this week (yep slag like I said) and each charming gentlemen has attempted to slip it in without a rubber, what’s the deal with that? Do I have slapper written on my forehead or tattooed across my arse?

Gentlemen Number 1
Now considering his line of work, prostitution, I would have thought safe sex would be high on the agenda but how wrong I was - I would like to point out I only found out two days later about his profession, so yes you guessed it I didn’t pay. Everybody loves a freebie although I’m more used to the two-for-one packs of orange juice at Sainsbury’s. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes my charming Brazilian lover trying to stick it in without a condom or EVEN LUBE for that matter, “errrrr it isn’t a hallway and that isn’t a spanner” I cried! “And where the hell is Johnny?”

Gentlemen Number 2
Unlike Gentlemen 1 who I met at a chill out, by the way, why do we call it that? Do you ever see anyone ‘chilling out’? All I see is more drug taking, oh and the occasional Einstein going under on G. Anyway, stop rambling. Gentlemen 2 started off with a nice romantic dinner at Soho House and ended up with him attempting to hold me down in bed with my arms behind my back whilst forcing his cock in my tight (yes I said tight) arse. Errr, sorry I have I just been cast in a rape scene from Hollyoaks? Needless to say this time the cry was even louder and when I asked about the condom he told me he simply didn’t have any. Oh right, I guess that makes it ok for you to try and fuck me without one. Luckily a quick visit to the 24hr Tesco store sorted that issue out. What a romantic image it was, there we were, queuing with (Tesco Finest) pizza and condoms.

Gentlemen Number 3
I think he wins the award for best one liner. I mean it was like being 18 all over again, “oh I’m not going to put it all the way in, I just want to feel it against your arse”. Errr when it’s starting to penetrate my sphincter you are no longer rubbing against it...your practically in it!! This witty character also informed me that he too had no condoms. This was an interesting comment as once I said I don’t do unprotected sex he magically produced not one but three of the slippery little gems. Oh, who said romance was dead?

Needless to say, I type this as deleting 3 numbers from my mobile. On the plus side at least I won’t have to pay for another meal for 2 at Soho House.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Should men use condoms while cruising? (bilerico.com)